


Knights Honor

by mossmouse



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Oneshot, post doors of destiny, slight gore/body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23775874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossmouse/pseuds/mossmouse
Summary: "We were born into the knighthood and are prepared to die fighting! We'd be a disgrace to let our lord perish out there all alone"Naoise lived his whole life living to the ideals of knights, but who would have known he would break the very same oath he took at the beginning of his journey right as it came to a close.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Knights Honor

Dimming sunlight illuminated the battlefield as twilight approached like a gentle breeze. Looking over to his right Naoise locked eyes with Alec who let out a quiet laugh between ragged breaths, breaking the silence that had fallen just outside of Velthomer. With Reptor defeated everyone stood in a quiet victory, knowing the war wasn’t finalized yet.

A bittersweet taste danced across Naoise’s tongue as he noted Lord Sigurd up ahead with a woman he vaguely recognized as Aida, one of Velthomer’s commanders. Their sudden turn on Reptor’s army didn’t sit right with him but he was not confident in his doubts to voice them, especially when Sigurd returned to the army with a relaxed smile on his face.

As he relayed the information given to him by Aida excitement washed over everyone, the war seemingly was about to come to an end. Looking back on the years that had passed it was almost shocking to think about how much had happened since the seize on Jungby castle… Naoise would have to be lying to himself if he were to say he hadn’t come to miss Chalphy. But it had been an eventful journey, from just the four knights setting out in Chalphy to now a whole army of new comrades and friends, it was an adventure he certainly wouldn’t forget. 

As he began to get lost within his reminiscing, a tap on his shoulder shook Naoise back into reality. Alec stopped next to him, his horse giving an impatient huff… Naoise couldn’t help but chuckle at the mare's gesture, times may have changed but Alec’s ornery mare was still the same contrasting her rider's personality.

“Naoise, this is it, huh?”

Watching as the others began to follow Sigurd to Belhalla he gave a sentimental nod, “Mmm”

“Hey, uh… I just wanna thank you for everything…”

Alec’s voice dropped serious, a rare sight for the knight. The feeling of undescribed melancholy flooded the few words he spoke leaving room for all those unspoken. Naoise wondered if he too had the same underlying worries about the situation. Everything seemed to be coming to a close but so much was left unsolved. 

“Sure thing. Same goes here, Alec… We should probably get moving before we’re left behind-”

Nudging his horse forward he looked to make sure Alec was following, unsure of what else he should say… It wasn’t as if this was truly the end, bidding farewells this early would be rather jinxing wouldn’t it? Nevertheless, he sat in silence for a minute before continuing the conversation,

“So what are your plans after this? Going to find a wife finally?”

Alec hummed along at his first question dropping the tune with the second to give him a blank stare Naoise couldn’t decipher at the time.

“I’m not sure, likely going to head back to Chalphy… How about you?”

“Probably the same, I wonder how much has changed since we were last there-”

“Hmmm who knows, I’m glad there will still be one familiar face there with you around though. Hah, maybe when we get back you can treat me to a drink~”

Naoise rolled his eyes, familiar with the others unbalanced bets and wagers that always left him paying. At least the knight was now being upfront in his attempts to sneak him the bill. Raising a brow he played along with the others little bit-

“Hmmm perhaps, it would be nice to share your company some more… I will say I’m surprised your first priority isn’t finding a skirt to chase- Has my dear friend outgrown his old habits?”

“I wouldn’t call myself a skirt chaser… more an appreciator of beauty, not all beautiful things wear skirts,” Alec looked over at him tossing a suggestive wink, “Haha well we can discuss this more later over drinks then. It’s been a blast Naoise-”

With another laugh, Alec pushed his moody mare into a light trot looking back to cast a grin at the now confused Naoise… Was this just another one of the green knights jokes? Naoise shook his head with an amused sigh before joining in the trot to catch up.

* * *

  
Stood outside Belhalla Sigurd’s army lined up prepared for their celebration of victory. Naoise stood near the back, sharing a smile with Arden and Midir who also found themselves at the end of the party. Surrounded by mages the ‘welcoming’ didn’t entirely feel warm but they had made it this far, if things went south surely they could make it through one more battle.

Peering up to look at what was going on up ahead to his shock, it was not the king but Arvis stood to greet them. Alec up ahead turned around sharing a similar look of confusion with Naoise. The green knight mouthed some words but they were lost as mages began forming a wall pushing the last row forward and blocking their escape.

As if the confusion couldn’t become worse turning his attention back up to Sigurd, he couldn’t believe who else was there. Standing beside Arvis was Dierdre.

_Lady Dierdre? But how...why is she here?_

The atmosphere grew, with murmurs growing into outraged cries, anger and fear melding into one and washing over them covering the mourning sadness of a victory turned sour. As others began to push forward the wall of mages began casting.

Overhead the clear morning sky turned to dusk, a fiery orange not of sunset cast shadows below. Golden eyes stayed glued frozen in shock at the changing sky before the reality of what was about to come shook them free. Snapping forward to a familiar green sight he called out to Alec, who had not yet noticed the impending danger, and was still trying to fight his way forward.

But amongst the chaos, his voice was lost, drowned out in the sea of others. Mouth agape Naoise tried again to shout a warning, again to no avail. Without a second thought, he kicked his steed urging it forward, his mind in a frenzy- they had to get out of here.

As he raced forward a meteor crashed from the sky landing just ahead to his right. His horse reared at the sudden danger almost throwing him off. Grabbing the saddle horn Naoise struggled to stay on his frenzied steed. Cooing gently as all four feet returned to the ground he ran a hand along its neck trying to calm it as he made sense of the chaos now surrounding him.

All around him more meteors fell from the sky, shaking the earth below as fire rose spreading across the grassy terrain. The smoke and fire covered his field of view leaving only the rumbles of earth and all too familiar sounding screams around him. 

“NAOISE!!”

The scream broke through the barrier of rage, he instantly recognized the voice and pushed towards it much to the displeasure of his horse, who was still rearing his head uncharacteristic fear he couldn’t blame the steed for. Stumbling in a sideways gate towards the source of the yell, flashes of green broke through the smoke.

“Alec! Are you ok?!”

“Yes! Go find Sigurd!”

“You need to get out of here!”

“I’ll be fine! Remember our plan!”

Naoise gave a nod back adrenaline coursing through his veins, “Well come with me then!”

Not wasting time on a response he began trying to weave through the onslaught of flames and projectiles. He wasn’t going to leave without his Lord even if that meant risking death.

But sadly ideals and realities rarely align. A sudden push almost knocked him over, his horse jumping ahead as a burst of heat flew by engulfing the whole right side of his body in warmth. As he looked towards the source his golden eyes widened unable to process the sight.

The source of the push that had knocked him aside was now consumed by the meteor whose path had been set on Naoise, only a sliver of green armour could be seen through the flames.

Time seemed to stop… he wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry, scream, or throw up. It didn’t feel real despite spending years knowing any battle could be their last, seeing his death, a sacrifice no less, if this was a dream Naoise prayed to awaken.

Unable to think, nevermind breath, he abruptly lost control of the beyond startled horse below him. Able to do nothing but stay on they weaved heavily between the deadly onslaught in search of a clearing in the smoke. White knuckles gripping the reigns Naoise tried to turn them around, his duty still in the back of his mind now muddled with a still-forming want for revenge. But no matter what he tried he couldn’t go back, quickly exiting through a gap in the flames and rushing into the safety of the forest beyond.

* * *

Naoise’s mind was blank as he continued on aimlessly the rest of the day, not noticing when their frantic gallop slowed to a staggered walk. Birds sang a mocking song of joy through the woods, a serene soundtrack accompanying a nightmare. All he could do was stare at his hands, loosely holding the reins as his mind collapsed in on itself- he should turn back, why was he abandoning everyone? What happened to his duties as a knight?

Stopping his steed he slid out of the saddle, shaky legs collapsing to the ground. His horse turned to look, ears forward in curiosity before wandering over to a small patch of grass, having made a quicker recovery from the situation than its rider. Blond hair graced the ground as he rested his head on the forest floor, blood slowly seeping into his mouth as he bit back the cries and sobs that fought to escape.

He abandoned his lord in the middle of battle. His mind filled with Sigurd, not yet knowing the fate of the Chalphy Lord, but really this was only to distract from the bigger pain of acknowledging Alec's sacrifice...along with the knowledge there would no longer be a next time for them.

_What use is a failure of a knight?_

All the red knight wished to do was sink into the dirt, wash away the shame as worms feasted on his rotting corpse. Even if Sigurd survived...would he even be able to face him?

Taking a shaky breath he began to build up the strength to stand up again. Realistically it wouldn’t be possible to lie down forever, and the cowardly beast residing within was again rearing its head. Heading over to where his horse had wandered off to he wrapped an arm around the animal's neck, giving it a brief hug,

“Sorry pal… I can’t blame you…”

The brown gelding continued to graze, simply enjoying the rest it was gifted. Gold eyes scanned the woods debating just what direction they were headed, and where exactly they were now. Ignoring the heavy weight in his chest Naoise set off on foot, leading his horse alongside him to the nearest village.

The pair had managed to travel to a town just outside of Dozel as the sun began its descent on the western horizon. Few people littered the streets as merchants began closing up their stalls and heading home for the day. As he scanned the streets for a stable and place for them both to rest his attention was interrupted by a small figure that suddenly appeared in front of him.

A small boy, no older than 7, stood eyes wide and sparkling looking up at him.

“Wow! Are you a knight? Man, you have a horse and everything! That’s so cool I’m gonna be a knight someday too!”

Taken aback by the sudden burst of conversation Naoise tried to give a laugh albeit strained while thanking the heavens his armour was generic enough to not give his identity away.

“A… um yes, I- I’m sure you’ll be a great knight...sorry I can’t really...talk right now…”

Skirting round he tried to ignore the child's continuing attempts at conversation as he danced circles around him, normally he would take joy in stopping to talk but far too much had happened the past day to even give a smile to the energetic youth.

“Mmm” 

“Sir can I ride your horse? Huh, huh? Is your sword real? I heard of a sword that could pierce any metal! Can yours do anything cool?”

Naoise felt his brow twitch, his fortitude reaching its limit. His hand clenched tightly into a fist trying to instead focus on the rhythmic steps of hooves on the cobblestone paths. But as the child refused to stop talking he could feel himself about to snap. Shooting a glare at the nuisance, annoyance coated his words,

“Don’t you have someone else to bother. I don’t care to listen to the waste of breath you spit at me.”

The young boy reeled in shock, surprise mixing with the tears beginning to form at the corner of his now dulling hazel eyes. Not daring to say another word he took off taking his tears with him.

Tiredly shaking his head having successfully managed to shake free from the child, Naoise managed to find a small inn and stables. After taking care of his horse’s needs he made his way to his room, his movements slow and sluggish as he threw himself onto the bed. Realizing too late he had yet to take off his armour as he landed on the cheap flimsy bed the impact knocked the little remaining wind out of him. 

“...I deserve this-”

After lamenting in his pain for a second Naoise rolled over, lazily throwing his armour onto the dusty wooden floor. Not bothering to eat or bathe he fell asleep wanting to be able to wake up and have it be yesterday still.

* * *

An emerald green infused with a sepia tone hovered in front of his face, laughing as the black of an ink-stained brush moved to obscure his vision. Sitting up Naoise wiped his face with a hand, hearing a duo of laughter ensue as the ink smudged onto his hand.

Shooting a knowing glare up at the knight in front of him he lunged forward, hand ready to share the mess of ink covering it. 

“Hah! Don’t think you can get away that easily!”

Giving a laugh of his own as repaid Alec for the lovely wake up, a large pair of hands pulled him away. “Late as always Alec, did you want some ‘battle paint’ too?”

Grinning he tilted his head up offering a greeting to the larger blue knight, who was less than amused at the red and green pair.

“C’mon stop calling me slow, and nah I’m good I don’t need to wash up a second time this morning-”

“Ahem-”

A cough broke the jovial atmosphere as Sigurd walked into the room.

“You two get ready we’re heading out soon to Jungby-”

Tilting his head Naoise stared at the lord in confusion before questioning, “Lord, two? There’s three of us here… do you plan to leave someone here to guard the castle?”

A suffocating cold chill filled the room sending a shiver down Naoise’s spine before Sigurds next words hit him like an icepick.

“There are only two knights here. A real knight wouldn’t abandon his lord and comrades in the middle of battle-”

As he spoke flames began slithering up the lord eating away at his clothes and flesh, crackling an echo to his monotone words of shame. As Sigurd erupted into a spiral of flames he stuttered backwards bumping into Arden… or what used to be Arden, as what steadied him was not the familiar calloused hand but the remaining fragments of fingers. With a 180 turn, golden eyes widened as he saw the skeleton of his friend shatter and collapse to the floor in a pile of bone and blue armour. 

He wanted to scream but found himself unable to, every primal urge telling him to run as his feet remained glued to the floor beneath him. Everything around him fell away into an abyss above as he felt himself being dragged down in place. The walls containing the world fell away leaving a field of light. While reality shifted in place a gentle smile filled the room with a rotten warmth.

Across from him, Alec stood arm outstretched, reaching out his own Naoise tried to grasp it but unable to move he couldn’t reach the hand waiting for him. Alec’s brow furrowed as he yelled words that were swallowed before they could reach his ears. Naoise could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he desperately tried to move closer, but no matter how hard he tried his feet were rooted to the spot. All the blond knight could do was watch as skin began dripping and melting off of his old friend's face, blood pouring out of empty eye sockets as his body began to decompose. 

As he screamed in horror at the grotesque scene in front of him a voice whispered an echoing silence to him, 

“It’s been a blast, huh?”

* * *

Naoise shot up, laboured breath staggering to cope with his racing breath. Blinding sunlight filled the room unhindered by the curtains the knight hadn’t bothered closing in his undead stupor the night before. Tears soaked the straw pillow along with a cold sweat that swam along his body.

He had to take a moment to remember where he was and the events of the last 24 hours, which he immediately wished had remained forgotten. Guilt pricked his skin, attaching itself like a parasite intent on consuming him.

Trying to distract himself and get on track to righting wrongs Naoise set out for the day to see if there was any news to conclude the outcome of the battle… Upon hearing the quickly spread gossip he wasn’t sure if he was more in pain from Sigurd's death or the fact that the outcome didn’t surprise him.

While out on his walk he once again passed the hazel-eyed boy, who upon exchanging a glance looked meekishly to the ground before scurrying away. Whoever said regret had a limit was a liar, as another pang of guilt hammered the former knight's heart, but what was the use trying to change or fix things? Just like apologising wouldn’t bring back his comrades, neither would it take back the impression he left on the child.

Bringing a hand up to his head Naoise felt an incoming headache. Giving up trying for the day he looked up at the sky, grey clouds warning the birds of incoming rain… No use staying outside any longer...

Weeks passed in a blur, nothing accomplished or gained. The nightmares had become a daily treat, escalating but forever the same, no amount of prayers or repenting made them stop. So most nights became the same routine, lying awake in a dark room full of his own thoughts, the flickering flame of candlelight never lasting long as it’s presence brought up the same memories he tried so hard to actively avoid.

Using up the funds he had saved up, Naoise holed himself up in the inn not wanting or allowing himself to see the light of day, he didn’t deserve to, as a deserter. As money became tighter he lugged the armour out to one of the merchants, knowing he no longer had use for it as the coward he had become. 

The older merchant looked him up and down before giving a less than generous offer, but at this point Naoise didn’t care and was more than glad to see it go. As they were exchanging goods though a trio of handmaids filled the streets with trifling gossip,

“Did you hear Emperor Arvis plans to unite all of Jugdral-”

“Really? Where did you hear that?”

“Hm even if it’s not true I’d trust him to- remember how he defeated that villainous traitor scum from Chalphy.”

Naoise felt his throat tighten, wanting to say something but knowing it to be wiser to stay hush, but it didn't stop his hand from automatically clenching into a fist. The merchant still holding out the sack of coins gave him a suspicious look,

“Is there an issue here?”

Quickly shaking his head Naoise took the sack bowing a quick thanks before heading to the marketplace and then stables. He couldn’t stay in this town forever... maybe it would be better to go somewhere far away from everything and escape- no.

He wouldn’t allow himself that freedom, all he had been doing since that day was running. He had to face his own sins no matter the cost. If he were to leave he would have to make a change… it would be the only way he could live with himself and continue living.

Remembering the young child Seliph who was in Isaach an idea formed. Maybe he could go find them there and repay the debt of abandoning the child's father...although Oifrey was there as well, and he couldn’t bear facing him and explaining what had happened. Hmm, but what other option would he have? 

Upon thinking that the promise to meet Alec back in Chalphy flashed in his mind… it would be impossible to do that now but- It had been years since he was last there the chances of being recognized would likely be low…

Mulling it over as he grabbed some supplies for whatever road he took a plan began to form. He wouldn’t be able to share a last drink with Alec but he could at least bring the memory of him back...it was his home too. If he continued to do nothing with his life then the knight's sacrifice would be completely in vain… Naoise sighed,

“Why did you do it… you were always the nobler one why…”

Holding his head he fought back the urge to cry, only now realizing how much more he had left to say to his dear friend. 

Stepping past the aching in his heart into the modest stable Naoise gathered his few supplies and gave his steed a quick brush. 

“It’s time to go home friend… hope you don’t mind a more relaxed life haha…”

Giving the gelding a soft pat before throwing on his saddle and bags he knew the horse would have absolutely no complaints at a more relaxed life, having already settled into his lazy routine. With a hop, Naoise jumped onto the back of his mount ready to set off. It would only take a week at most to get to Chalphy, then he could figure out what to do beyond that when he got there. 

With a kick, Naoise began his trek, unsure if any amount of effort would free him of the waves working to swallow him. All he could hope for was to one day find all he left behind, and tell them all he had left unspoken. Hopefully, he could make up for the lives lost with his own, even if not in heroics.  
  



End file.
